Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Challenges & Conversations (02/09/16)

Sunday morning before service is not the time to air grievances.  This applies also to Sunday night before service, Wednesday night before praise and prayer, and before any scheduled prayer meeting.

When you walk in with angst on your face and a coldness stiffer than the Winter breeze that howled through the front door, you have made your statement!  There is no need to say anything. Of course, you do say something, and you say it within earshot of people who aren't involved in the situation.   They shouldn't have their personal space invaded by stray arrows from your target practice.  Perhaps it is meant as a private conversation, only you don't realize how far sound carries.  (Could this be one reason why a disproportionate number of people come to church right at start time or a few minutes late? What I've referred to previously as "planned laziness" might be a survival technique for minimizing exposure to relational fallout.)

You're not about to call the offender during the week to setup a meeting to express your disappointment.  No, it appears that you wait strategically until maximum damage can be spread.  I sure hope that's all it is -- an appearance.  (If it's not appearance and it is your intent to inflict damage, may I name your offence?  You are a verbal cactus!)

This is not to suggest that you have no valid concern or that your disappointment and hurt shouldn't be acknowledged.  There is a way to resolve conflict.  Speaking within earshot of people who are not involved in the issue is not the way.

Do you know why prior to service is not an appropriate time?  Your mini-outburst, confined as it might be within a small perimeter, poisons the atmosphere and deposits unsolicited heaviness in the heart of anyone who is unfortunate enough to overhear.  He or she gets robbed of joy and is now agitated. The Holy Spirit is grieved.  You're in no frame of mind to participate in worship, let alone receive anything from God. Everyone loses, as it were, but hey, at least you got it off your chest, right?


If you wonder why some pastors aren't highly visible until the start of the opening song, this could be a consideration in that preference.  No pastor wants to have a heavy heart and a distracted mind before stepping into the pulpit, even when he is guilty as charged.

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