Sunday
morning before service is not the
time to air grievances. This applies also to Sunday
night before service, Wednesday night before praise and prayer, and
before any scheduled prayer meeting.
When
you walk in with angst on your face and a coldness stiffer than the
Winter breeze that howled through the front door, you have made your
statement! There is no need to say anything. Of course,
you do say something, and you say it within earshot
of people who aren't involved in the situation. They shouldn't
have their personal space invaded by stray arrows from your target
practice. Perhaps it is meant as a private conversation, only
you don't realize how far sound carries. (Could this be one
reason why a disproportionate number of people come to church right
at start time or a few minutes late? What I've referred to previously
as "planned laziness" might be a survival technique for
minimizing exposure to relational fallout.)
You're
not about to call the offender during the week to setup a meeting to
express your disappointment. No, it appears that you wait
strategically until maximum damage can be spread. I
sure hope that's all it is -- an appearance.
(If it's not appearance and it is your
intent to inflict damage, may I name your offence? You are a
verbal cactus!)
This
is not to suggest that you have no valid concern or that your
disappointment and hurt shouldn't be acknowledged. There is a
way to resolve conflict. Speaking within earshot of people who
are not involved in the issue is not the way.
Do
you know why prior to service is not an appropriate
time? Your mini-outburst, confined as it might be within a
small perimeter, poisons the atmosphere and deposits unsolicited
heaviness in the heart of anyone who is unfortunate enough to
overhear. He or she gets robbed of joy and is now agitated. The
Holy Spirit is grieved. You're in no frame of mind to
participate in worship, let alone receive anything from God. Everyone
loses, as it were, but hey, at least you got it off your chest,
right?
If
you wonder why some pastors aren't highly visible until the start of
the opening song, this could be a consideration in that preference.
No pastor wants to have a heavy heart and a distracted mind
before stepping into the pulpit, even when he is guilty
as charged.
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